I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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