You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
