New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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