You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize