the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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