Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sex in a hospital.. check
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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