I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
