you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
