My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
