Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
