this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
