so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize