Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
