You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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