He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
