Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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