I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
