I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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