One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
