Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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