I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
