I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
