How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
