he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Randomize
