When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
