I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
