Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
