i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
