Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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