I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize