Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
