So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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