Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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