is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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