She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
