Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
