I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
