That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
