We're like a lot better than the average bears
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
