I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
