Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
