u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
