I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
