Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
