He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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