Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize