either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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