I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i drank out of a bidet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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