Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
