I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
