girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
