Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
