i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
vagina is talking i cant
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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