Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want a musical about memes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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