Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize