Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
