brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there's paper in my vomit.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Randomize
