What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
