She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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