I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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