Don't make out with my wife yet
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
