there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
